Overwhelming, loud, messy, bittersweet, chaotic, amusing, frustrating, exhausting, and yet {surprisingly after seeing this picture} most of the time, completely wonderful. This is how I would describe {in so little words} our few weeks back as a family; just the four of us. This is the first time since Violet has been born that we have been solo as a family. It’s been amazing. The way it makes me feel to see Juliet play with Chris again like he hasn’t been gone longer than an afternoon, is undescribable. There’s no way I can put into words what it is exactly that chokes me up about the way Chris waddles when he walks when Violet’s strapped to the front of him in the Bjorn or how it feels to not have to lay in bed alone anymore {and no, Violet doesn’t count}. But, what I never expected in Chris’s homecoming and our happy return as a family back in Louisiana where we “belong”, was how heartbreaking it would be to have to explain to Juliet over and over again why it is we can’t just drive over to Grandma's house and see Uncle Jon. How do I explain to her that Papa isn’t able to read her a story tonight or change her diaper {cause Dad honestly, THAT would be amazing sometimes}. Do we make it a point to facetime, or does that only make it worse? Believe me, I tried to mentally prepare myself for everything when Chris returned from his deployment; how to transition him back into the family, how to help him cope if for some reason the girls didn’t take him but what's a mother to do when their baby gets hurt and tells you they want their Papa instead of you? Or when she says she "just wants to go home now"? All I can do is be patient, explain the best I can and hope she understands. Time will take care of the rest.
Now, with all this being said do I think it was a mistake to go home during Chris’s deployment because of the pain it’s causing now? Absolutely not. The time Juliet and Violet {and me of course} got to spend with family and especially GG, was priceless. You can’t get those times back and they are so precious. This is such a fun age and the girls both changed so much over the course of those five months. It was so fun to share that with the entire family {both mine and Chris’s}. Also, being back in "reality" has helped me realize how much I needed all of their support. Violet was just two weeks old when we flew to Seattle from Louisiana. I don’t know how I would have made it without all the extra help. I’m doing it now and I'm not to proud to say that it is hard as hell; it’s no fun being outnumbered, especially when one child is teething. Because of our family I was able to take classes, hangout with girlfriends, build my portfolio and go to the gym. If I'd been alone with the girls I would quiet possibly be 300lbs and bald from tearing my own hair out.
Thank you all so much for everything {you all know who you are}. I love you all dearly. I couldn’t have gotten through the last year {pregnancy and all} without you. What I'm trying to say is ... you're pretty cool and I hope I didn't make you just cry. Smooches.
Now, with all this being said do I think it was a mistake to go home during Chris’s deployment because of the pain it’s causing now? Absolutely not. The time Juliet and Violet {and me of course} got to spend with family and especially GG, was priceless. You can’t get those times back and they are so precious. This is such a fun age and the girls both changed so much over the course of those five months. It was so fun to share that with the entire family {both mine and Chris’s}. Also, being back in "reality" has helped me realize how much I needed all of their support. Violet was just two weeks old when we flew to Seattle from Louisiana. I don’t know how I would have made it without all the extra help. I’m doing it now and I'm not to proud to say that it is hard as hell; it’s no fun being outnumbered, especially when one child is teething. Because of our family I was able to take classes, hangout with girlfriends, build my portfolio and go to the gym. If I'd been alone with the girls I would quiet possibly be 300lbs and bald from tearing my own hair out.
Thank you all so much for everything {you all know who you are}. I love you all dearly. I couldn’t have gotten through the last year {pregnancy and all} without you. What I'm trying to say is ... you're pretty cool and I hope I didn't make you just cry. Smooches.
